So I have a book fetish....it could be so much worse

I just discovered the most amazing list of travel books on the Travel Channel website and then stumbled onto a list of fun book blogs; 30 travel books and a bunch of new book blogs to go through. Ah, the simple pleasures in life ;) Books are my addiction, but what a sweet addiction it is. My husband has actually "cut me off" from buying new books, but fat lot of good that did...I continue to find ways to feed my addiction to words. There's just something so satisfying for me about having books around. I suppose there's some psychological reason for it, all the lonlieness as a child and all that junk...but all I know is how much I love books now and need them around. Books rock. And that's that.

Am I Noora?

My favorite '99' character...Noora. Bringing light to darkness and enlightenment to those who need it. :) Somewhat of a strange parallel for my current emotional dilemma.

"Must...bring...knowledge...about the Arab world...to those who don't understand." *struggling against the bonds of ignorance and denial*

Taking the Road Less Traveled...

It's been awhile since I've written. It's been a busy couple of weeks. Not only for work but for life. Obama was elected, I'm so happy! We celebrated as did millions of other people around the world. We'll see if it changes anything for foreign policy; after Emanuel and Clinton...I don't know. I still think there's going to be way too much preference for Israel.

I've had to do some thinking recently about what to do for my future. I am so tired of confronting racism and bigotry against Arabs and Muslims. I feel like all I'm doing is challenging people's biases and it just drives me crazy sometimes. I take it so personally and feel like I'm on a personal quest to change everyone's minds. When I hear ignorant remarks and see the kind of insitutionalized racism that is so accepted now, I just get so upset. I wonder how those who fought for civil rights for African Americans were able to stay mentally healthy through all of the horrible events and comments. It's never easy to do the right thing, and it doesn't make you popular, that's for sure.

I have to decide whether or not I'm going to stick with something I'm very passionate about and good at, but which affects me so emotionally, it's exhausting and difficult to carry on, or find a completely different route, to avoid all the ups and downs that have been coming my way ever since I began studying, publishing and discussing the Middle East. I take things so personally and so to heart; and I know that can be a fault. I wish it was as easy as everyone says; to just let it go, ignore it, don't get so upset, let it roll off your back, take a deep breath, walk away, come back tomorrow, let it sit....it's not that easy!

Lots of thinking to do. I have to make some major decisions in the next six months. Do I apply for the PhD and devote the rest of my life to researching, publishing, speaking out and fighting for the Arab world; even though there will be plenty more ups and downs, or do I quit and find something completely different where I don't have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster. I know what I'm probably going to choose...I'll take the hard road. I always do.